"Give Me Something... Please"

Most of the time I have so much to say I could fill entire contents and seas with my words; but what I actually say and what I want to say are two different things. I find that most of the time I hold entire conversations in my head and play things out that in fact aren't really happening that way. It's not like I'm delusional or anything it's more I just have come to prefer having my human interaction this way. I see people all the time that I think we could just be such good friends if they give me the time of day. I don't exactly belong to anyone these days and my friendships have dwindled down to well none. Over all of these years and trying times no one has stuck by my side to pull me through this mess of a life I've lead. When I look back it's only ever been just me. I don't blame anyone for not sticking through my train wreak I just want some one to give me something, anything.  Maybe one day I'll write my story out, I've told it many times but now it feels like so much time has passed that it's not even important anymore, too much has already happened to explain; it's no use anymore. I just need something to spark the hole where my organs should be.